“First this, then that.” We’ve been using this phrase for years with Bryce for everything from rewarding him to planning the day to help with transitioning. “First eat your broccoli, then have chocolate milk.” “First brush teeth, then Magna Doodle.” You get the idea.

Admittedly, I have used this for my own personal gain and have made broken promises like “first this, then something super great” that I know he wants and he’d do whatever the first thing was just to be able to do the next. It’s usually to make a situation less stressful, like if he’s upset over something that he would like, I’ll tell him he can have it if he can does “this first, then you can do that/have that,” and so forth. That being said, I do usually give in and end up giving him whatever it was while acknowledging that he did do the first thing in order to get it.

But lately, I’m finding that this is backfiring on me and with his great parroting skills turning into communication skills he’s now telling me how it is. He comes up to me and says what’s first and what’s next. “First eat sausage, then play bubbles!” “First bath time, then movie Nintendo DS.” “First swimming, then home time.” He’s now the negotiator. And while I have to sometimes change what the rewards are, or what’s happening next, it makes me smile knowing that he understands the concept of “First this, then that.”

Thanks for reading,
Tanaya